Monday, June 30, 2008


So summer is officially underway around here; we celebrated olivia's 7th
birthday this weekend, and the theme was Hannah Montana. Up until the
party, or rather, the planning of the party, I had no idea that Olivia
liked Hannah so much. But now, its like someone puked Hannah all over my
house :hahaha:
I do have to say that she had great parties, and went home a very happy
Luckily she also got a pool, so I know we'll be spending lots of time in
the backyard..and hopefully not getting pooped on by all the birds!

Nothing more really going on here.. Just trying to decide what to do for
the 4th (please no one tell my children that Hannah will be here doing a
concert!). I think I'm still in the adjustment period of trying to get a
good sleep pattern. I still can't drag my ass out of bed before 10.
Ugh!! You'd think I'd have more will power, or at least louder kids!

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Sunday, June 22, 2008

its only been about 2 weeks..


I really do. I don't really think that there is any other phrase out there that could sum up how I feel, better than that. I miss my mom. She is back at home and out of the hospital, and seems to be doing pretty good. She is tired and hot, but she is happy. I wish I were there. And I wish I could've stayed until she got out of the hospital. I sit here, wondering if I will regret not staying. I wonder if its a possibility for me to move my family down there, just so I can be there with her. Really, that isn't feasible for us, it would be easier to move her here, but again, not feasible right now. I want to enjoy and live every moment as possible, with her. I want my kids to be able to know her better than they do. I feel like my life is nothing without her in it. I wonder everyday if I will regret the choices I make today. She tells me constantly that she isn't dying, that she is going to live forever. I know that isn't true. I know that she is just being her usual optimistic self. But, I can't help feeling that at any given moment, something could happen and I wouldn't be there. Don't get me wrong--I don't think that she is dying right now, but I'm a realist, and I know that she is sick, and thats what scares the shit out of me. I dont want to wait for her to be dying to be able to see her and spend time with her. I want to enjoy the normal, everyday moments. I want to be able to take care of her and be with her. And just love her. Hug her whenever I feel like it. I'm so afraid of losing her, and I know that I need to just stop being afraid, and enjoy her right now. Enjoy her crazy silliness, her talk about her damn cat, and buying groceries. I need to just relish in the mundane, and be thankful for phones.
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Thursday, June 19, 2008

still adjusting..

so the whole family went to the annual church carnival--as per usual, the first ride was the ferris wheel (that is what its called, right? i always seem to forget what its called.) there was face paintings, which i didnt get a picture of, games, a cake walk (which the girls refused to take part in, so i had art buy me a brownie to make up for it :) as for art and i, we enjoyed some beer and smothered burritos. it was really pretty good.

today i'm suffering from a sleep hangover. i always know that if i sleep too long, my head will hurt. but its so flipping hard to get my butt out of bed! ugh. so, i'm still adjusting. since coming back from seeing my mom, i quit my morning job. its so nice only having one job and being able to spend all day with the girls--but the hard part is adjusting to working later (abt 6pm to 2am). thus, the reason i sleep so late. or at least i like that as an excuse lol. yesterday i actually got off a little early and decided to actually try to scrapbook. and it worked! i mean, it took me a while to get it looking how i wanted, but i eventually finished it. and here it is:

so i'm hoping that now that i've gotten over the inital 'where do i begin?', that i can continue on scrapping more frequently. we'll see. i always was better at procrastinating.

happy thursday :)


Sunday, June 15, 2008

Chalk art festival

Took the girls to the gatway yesterday to check out the locals doing
chalk art--they both adults and children entrants, and they both amazing
to see. I know these pics just don't do them any justice, but I wanted
to share.

My mom should be getting out of the hospital some time today; she has
been practicing going up and down stairs, and says she is feeling really
confident about it. Its been so great hearing her sounding so happy and
confident--its really just so amazing the turn around her health has
had. Thank you to everyone who has kept my mom and our family in your
thoughts and prayers, they truly do help.

Happy fathers day!
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Thursday, June 12, 2008

Finally back home

Had to take a last minute trip to california to see my mom last
saturday. The cancer has spread to her liver and her spinal cord. I'd
been worried about something like this happening--she'd been complaining
about a numbness in her legs, and it turns out that was caused by a
tumor in her spinal cord. I got down to the hospital saturday evening,
and she was just in great spirits and so happy to see me and the girls.
She has been walking the last few days and will hopefully be back home
soon..she is making great progress. As for me, my head is still in a fog
just trying to absorb everything. I took today off work, but I'm not
feeling much better about things yet, all I know is I'm not ready for
reality just yet. Anyone know of a dark hole I can hide in for a little
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Wednesday, June 04, 2008

wheeler farm..the experience of a lifetime..

last week i was able to go with olivia and her first grade class, on a field trip to this local farm--Wheeler Farm. first, let me say, that i've lived in the salt lake valley for most of my life--well, at least half of it. and while i had heard of Wheeler Farm, I'd never been. But really, lets face it; if you know me, then you know that i dont like bugs, dirt or stinky animals. period. so i've never had any interest in going to this place. But now that i'm older (gasp!), i think that i'm now actually able to appreciate nature, and find beauty in all things--whether or not they are stinky. Anyways, I was pretty excited to go, since usually its Art that goes on the field trips.. I couldnt wait, and neither could olivia.

So, lets fast forward to me getting to the school: its a little chilly, kinda overcast, but not too bad. I grab my sweater, just in case. I mean, we'd been experiencing pretty nice weather in the mid 70's. I thought I was thinking ahead. Anyways, I get inside, and Olivia sees me. The first thing out of her mouth is "mom, we have to wear tennis shoes, you know, we're going to a farm." Um, yeah I know where we are going. But like I said, its been warm, so I was wearing my flip flops--duh. We get to the farm, after an excruiatingly long and LOUD ride on the bus. Seriously?? who the hell crams 60 1st graders on one damn bus? I was ready to push out the emergency window and throw myself into the traffic on I-80 at that point.

Anywho.. we get there. Its a little windy--not too bad. The teacher casually mentions something about rain, but I'm not really listening or caring. The clouds arent THAT dark. We walk around for about 10-15 minutes, when all of a sudden--and I do mean sudden, there is a torrential downpour. I'm talking ginormous rain drops. Everywhere. We run for cover to the nearest place with a roof--the chicken coop. Yup. Me and 20 first graders with 3 class moms whom, by the way, dont speak English. Luckily the teacher had brought some garbage bags that we used to turn into make shift rain coats for the kids. Then we just stand there. Us, and chickens. This lasted for about 15mins before we made a run to the big barn--where the other classes had been. So yeah, we stayed there for the better part of the field trip..we didnt get to see many animals at all--but it was still fun. Even though my feet were covered in dried up dirt/mud, my hair was frizzed beyond belief. Olivia was right about the tennis shoes. Who knew?
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