Sunday, August 02, 2009

dedicated to you, mom

one year ago today, you left this world. left all the pain and hurting behind. i've dreaded this day, for weeks..maybe months. the thoughts of you lying there, hurting, and there was nothing i could do, but to hold your hand and whisper i love you's in your ear. let you know that you werent alone.

i contemplated making a list of things that you've missed in this year that youve been gone. but i decided against it. this is a list of things that will forever remind me of you--whether they are movies, sayings or smells. you're always with me.

*the smell of your hair (pantene)
*the color green
*the ocean
*13 going on 30
*bon jovi
*playing air guitar and drums while jamming out to poison's 'talk dirty to me'
*willy wonka
*refrigerated ding dongs
*terms of endearment
*my hands
*sunday night pot roast
*tuna fish with pickles
*xmas fudge and popcorn balls
*steel magnolias
*yellow vw bugs
*big fluffy clouds
*merle norman makeup
*sayings like 'tushie, mommala, bubba,oy vey, the bomb, oh my god!, jesus christ!, its all good
*scrapbooking, painting ceramics, making handmade soaps
*yard/garage sales
*chai teas on lazy sundays
*the tv show roseanne
*feathered bangs (took me years to convince you to change your style!)
*online contests, ads and games (you were always a sucker for free stuff)
*the smell of coffee brewing
*tone soap
*bobs big boy
*pink sugar perfume (the only kind you ever liked me to wear because it didnt bother your asthma)
*girly girl time with olivia and maya. a daily tradition you started with the girls, that i try to continue with them

i hope that you are peaceful..that you are enjoying watching the girls grow up, that you are with your mom; i hope you know that you are missed every second of the day.
LGP 12/30/58-08/02/08