Wednesday, February 03, 2010

always playing catch up

-its not as if i lead an ultra exciting and busy life. because i dont. i think its pretty average. yet, i'm still unable to bring myself to pull up my chair and write my thoughts down for a few minutes. and in all actuality, i'm already sitting here, usually working, so its not like i'd be going out of my way, turning on the computer, etc. ah well. what counts is that, today, i'm the let the updating commence!

-art lost his job about a month ago. totally shocked. kinda still am. but, it might just have a silver lining. we've been talking about him going to school, which is always a good thing.

-i chopped all of mayas beautiful waist length hair off--to just above her shoulders. i was really terrified that she was going to regret it the second i cut it; she's so wishy washy sometimes, the way only 7 year old girls can be. anyways, she LOVES it. phew!
 exhibit A:

i think it came out super cute, and i think it kinda reminds me of Selena Gomez' hair when she went short, no?

-been purging a ton of my scrapbook stuff. again. and this time, its actually really going to leave my house. yay! the awesome thing about purging, is that it makes me miss being crafty. i miss getting paint and glue all over me. and seeing bits of papers all over the floor. i miss it, so therefore, i am trying to get back into it. i even did like 3 pages in one night. i think i even almost forgot how to use my scanner. that was an adventure, hehee.

-on the note of scrapbooking, is my mom, of course. i dont think i ever realized just how much she influenced me. always cheering me on, and exclaiming over my accomplishments, gushing about how cute the girls were, noting where she could see improvements in my craft of the moment. she was amazing. she made me feel amazing. and good. i think it just now really hit me as i'm typing this; i did it for her as much as i was doing it for myself. maybe she was just being a good mom by complimenting me, and egging me to do more. whatever it was, it worked. and now i dont seem to find the same joy in creating as i did before. sounds pretty vain, now that i'm typing it. i guess its the truth though. i always loved knowing that she loved looking at all the silly pictures i take of the girls, or showing her my latest page. i loved her input, and now its gone, so now i just dont even try. which means i havent taken many pictures in the last year and a half. bottom line i'm trying to get through to myself, via this post--i miss my mom. i dont want to scrapbook things she has missed. its my way of making time stand still. everytime i glue a photo to paper, i think of her. so maybe, i'm really just robbing myself of memories...hmm. food for thought, yes.

-so, for those of you out in blogland, this IS still a scrapbooking blog. i promise. i still love the craft, the art, the passion. its still in me.