ever have one of those days?

so last night i had one of the most horrible dreams, i think i've ever had. i dreamt that maya died. i dont know how or why..but she did. soon afterward, in the dream, i had another baby girl. and she looked just like maya. but it wasnt her. i was devastated. i was crying so hard, i actually woke myself up. it was horrible. i kind of have a feeling i know why i dreamt this--last night, before bed, i punished maya for playing with their dvd's and losing one of the cases. and inside--i felt bad for it. i mean, it seemed so trivial--yet its important for her to know that dvd's are not toys. anyways, i must've felt much worse than i thought i did. so today, i feel outta whack...blah. but i'm so happy that my dream is over and i can kiss and hug maya and olivia today--doesnt that sound silly? anyways, thank goodness that children are naturally forgiving =)

yesterday was kind of a blah day too. i'm slowly trying to get myself back to normal, so i tried to scrap. can i just say ICK! i mean, i was enjoying myself, but i really hate what i created and that was not cool. i need to get out of this funk, i'm so tired of it! i've tried stepping away, i've tried looking at magazines..lots of magazines--domino, allure, in style, lucky, simple scrapbooks..you name it. and nothing. i mean, i see lots of pretty things..but nothing that makes me want to scrapbook. ::sigh:: i miss enjoying scrapbooking. anyways, enough of that--today i'm going to scrap and not putting any pressure on myself for it to be perfect. i think thats the problem. so today..its about fun :)

xoxo