mama said..

okay..so that would've totally been a cool photo..if the mirror was clean :P
been missing her alot lately..maybe its the hormones..maybe its just the time of year (being that its close to the holidays). or maybe its just that i'm so freakin busy lately that my emotions are finally catching up with me. anyways.. when we were talking the other day on the phone, my mom said she'd noticed the last few times we'd talked, that i sounded happy. and i said 'me?, happy?, really?' lol. made me feel a little....well, happy, to hear that. i felt happy. and it felt good.

once upon a time

it was licky's birthday

so we decided a surprise party was in order...

complete with cake and presents...

yes..i actually bought a cake and presents for the stuffed cat. and might i add, that it wasnt just maya's licky but also olivia's licky. isnt that kind of a strange name for a stuffed cat? and its weird that both the girls named their kittens that. but i'm a sucker. and it was so fun to have a little party for really no reason at all. the girls were so stinkin surprised and so happy..and it cost me less than 10 bucks!

i've been sick the last week or so..i have this cold that just won't let go. blah. so i've just been working and laying low, not really doing much of anything else. i do have a few lo's to share from LSS2 and top designer but i think i'll upload them in a day or so.

happy thursday!

need a laugh?

ok so i totally stole this from gigi's blog bc it made me giggle. it was way funny with her answers, and not so much with mine. hmm....

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car)
bubba lexus

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fav ice cream flavor, favorite cookie)
new york superfudge chunk chips ahoy (hee hee)

3. YOUR "FLY Guy/Girl" NAME: (first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
m gon

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal)
black cat

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born)
suzanne orange (thats SO not soap opera-ish)

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)
gon mo

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink put "The")
green the dr pepper

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers)
gordon martin

9. STRIPPER NAME: ( the name of your favorite perfume/cologne, favorite candy)
pink sugar snickers (thats actually a good one! ha!)

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's & father's middle names )
gail lopez

sometimes i cry for no reason

and if i were alone right now, thats what i'd be doing. i just got off the phone with my mom--and thats not the reason i want to cry, which is a good thing :) (and more on that later) but sometimes i just get this overwhelmingly sad feeling, and its hard to shake. i can never quite put my finger on what it is that can make me go from 'normal' to bawl baby. well, besides the BPD. :P

anyways.. maybe its just stress. lots of grown up crap going on and maybe its just my way of dealing. anyways it does seem to help a bit to write about it. i used to keep a journal..and when i say that i used to, i mean that i still do, just havent written in it since like june. for as long as i can remember i've always had something to write in--a spare notebook, a blank piece of paper. it really didnt matter as long as there was space to write. most of them i've kept, but last summer i threw one of them away. it held too many bad memories, so much sadness. i dont regret throwing it away at all..bc it was a bit of a release, just letting go of the past you know? but the thing i do regret, are the memories that were good that went along with the bad. but i guess if i still remember them, thats all that matters.

so anyways..speaking of the past, i've had a couple of my friends pop back into my life lately. its kinda weird, but in a good way i think. the one friend i've known since high school and she is exactly the same--a total blast, and always happy. i need more happy in my life, and she is perfect for that. its also fun remembering HS with someone..shes like a living breathing yearbook lol.

and for news about my mom..she is doing GREAT! she just had a scan of her brain the day before yesterday and its perfectly clear and looking good! i'm so proud of her..she has been having non stop chemo treatments, nupajin (i know spelled that wrong!) shots and countless poking by needles. but she has stayed strong and positive..and has hardly had any bad days at all--she is amazing and so strong. i know that if it were me in her shoes, i would be crumbling by now. but she is just taking it one day at a time and just plain being so damn happy about life. i admire that in her--i wonder if its heriditary bc i dont think i got that trait ;)

i think thats it for today.

ciao!

phew!

i was on a scrapping frenzy the other day. i think i did like 5 lo's in one day! which, for me is a lot, but then i add in the fact that i havent really been scrapping that much to begin with, and then add in that i was doing them all the day before they were due. craziness i tell ya. but i did get all my darejacks done, so i was happy :) that one up there is the amberjack and i really love it. i've never scrapped about that before and it felt pretty good--plus i put those pics to good use i think!

so yesterday we took the girls to the fair, it was opening day so it was only 2 bucks a person, and kids under 5 are free ::yay::
but i have to admit that i was feeling kinda bummed bc art couldnt get off work early and we didnt get there until like 7:30; so i figured we wouldnt be able to look at much stuff or have the kids go on many rides. turns out, we were able to do all that we wanted and we were home before 10! lol. i think thats a record, and i even got a carmel apple and some cotton candy, 2 must haves from the fair. the only bad thing that happened, is that, in typical monica fasion, i forgot my freakin camera. yeah. not so cool. but whatev. i took some pics on my cell, and they sucked lol.

today its lookin pretty nice outside--its been crazy windy, rainy the last few days, totally bringing on the fall weather, which i love. feels like heaven outside. and lucky for me, its arts 5 days off this weekend, so maybe we'll even head out to the greek festival..cross your fingers i can convince him ;)

so happy friday and weekend...and dont forget to check out the dares, (no link for them bc their site is down.) bc LSS starts today! and check out bad girls kits bc they have the top designer competition going too! busy weekend!

xoxo

yeah..we game.

this is how maya spends her morning while i work. she looks quite comfy, doesnt she? sometimes i feel guilty that she spends part of the morning playing with the gameboy so that i can work..but i figure an hour of games wont do her much harm. besides, we all game, right? i know my family does. art has his ps2--which i know he'd love a ps3--but at 599, that aint gonna happen for a while! and for my birthday last month, art bought me a pink DS. i love it. its fun to cozy up in bed, him playing god of war, and me playing cake mania lol.

today is orientation for maya's preschool..and then scenes like the one above won't be happening. she'll be spending 2.5 hours learning, singing and playing! she can't wait...and neither can i :)

the day drags..

i'm not sure yet if its bc olivia is in school until 2..or if its my lack of really doing anything. i mean, i get up. feed maya. talk with maya. work a little. then i surf the web. and then the day is gone. just.like.that. but whats weird about that, is that come 4pm..i'm like man, this day is going by slow. i dont know how it can be both, but in my world, appearantly its possible.

so yesterday i scrapped. it wasnt painful or anything either! and i actually like how it turned out. bonus :)
today i dont know if that is going to happen again..bc well, i'll just be totally honest. art is off today, so i slept in. let him take olivia to school and tend to maya. so yeah. here i am with a sleep hangover, and i dont want to work, i just want to bang on my keyboard all day :P
ok that was lame. but for reals, i just dont feel like working. i want to shower and just hang with maya. i can always work later, right?

and this time i didnt cry..

and neither did maya! olivia looked so cute on her first day of school--1st grade!! i can't believe how fast this summer went by, it sort of feels like it hadnt even really begun. ::sigh::
anyways, she had a great first day and made some new friends. i couldnt ask for more :)

maya will be starting next week and she can't wait. its been absolute torture just dropping off/picking up olivia. she just doesnt understand why she can't stay there too. but in time, i tell her..just a little while longer. i think its so great that both of them love school so much, and i really hope it stays that way for a long time!

not much else going on right now..planning a little vegas trip with carolyn for next month, so i seriously can't wait for that! been working lots and not doing too much scrapping. still trying to find that balance. again.
happy hump day =)

ever have one of those days?

so last night i had one of the most horrible dreams, i think i've ever had. i dreamt that maya died. i dont know how or why..but she did. soon afterward, in the dream, i had another baby girl. and she looked just like maya. but it wasnt her. i was devastated. i was crying so hard, i actually woke myself up. it was horrible. i kind of have a feeling i know why i dreamt this--last night, before bed, i punished maya for playing with their dvd's and losing one of the cases. and inside--i felt bad for it. i mean, it seemed so trivial--yet its important for her to know that dvd's are not toys. anyways, i must've felt much worse than i thought i did. so today, i feel outta whack...blah. but i'm so happy that my dream is over and i can kiss and hug maya and olivia today--doesnt that sound silly? anyways, thank goodness that children are naturally forgiving =)

yesterday was kind of a blah day too. i'm slowly trying to get myself back to normal, so i tried to scrap. can i just say ICK! i mean, i was enjoying myself, but i really hate what i created and that was not cool. i need to get out of this funk, i'm so tired of it! i've tried stepping away, i've tried looking at magazines..lots of magazines--domino, allure, in style, lucky, simple scrapbooks..you name it. and nothing. i mean, i see lots of pretty things..but nothing that makes me want to scrapbook. ::sigh:: i miss enjoying scrapbooking. anyways, enough of that--today i'm going to scrap and not putting any pressure on myself for it to be perfect. i think thats the problem. so today..its about fun :)

xoxo

missing her..

today she is doing the relay for life in paso robles..
i wish i was there with her, to laugh with her, encourage her, and see her finish it. she's been talking about this relay all summer..she was so happy to be apart of it, and to be able to join in the survivors breakfast. she said it was very emotional, and i can only imagine.
so mommy..here's to you, always being strong, always being happy..and SURVIVING.
i love you.

seriously??

wow. i almost totally disappeared there. totally sucked into real life for a bit. been working..working and did i mention working?? bc thats what i've been doing. here's a recap of the last month

• turned 29
• got a new tile floor in the kitchen
• olivia lost 2 new teeth
• both girls registered for school
• got a new fridge
• got new flat screen monitor

and not much else :P i guess we did lots of shopping..but nothing really fun besides the new monitor lol. i havent even really scrapped except for this lame ass crop me and a friend went to--can i just say that owners dropping the f-bomb just kills the mojo? yeah. not so fun. i did get some lo's done but i've been so damn lazy that i havent even scanned them. maybe that can be my goal this week hehehe.

i was tagged by my chica jocelynne so that is::

5 Things in my refrigerator:

1. milk

2. a-1

3. herdez green salsa

4. cream cheese

5.capri suns

5 Things in my car:

1. sunglasses

2.crucifix

3.napkins

4.denim jacket

5.empty cups

5 Things in my purse or backpack:

1.my wallet

2.my nano

3.2 mac lipglosses, 1 in pinkarat, 1 in viva glam

4.mac compact

5.pen

5 Things in my closet:

1.last years xmas presents

2.wrapping paper and gift bags

3.bedding

4.carseats

5.tablecloths

5 Things in the world I want to see before I die:

1.the met in nyc

2.nyc

3.new england in fall

4.my children grown and happy

5.me grown and happy =)

ok so i think thats about it for now..i'm so boring!

has it really only been a week?

i've been so super busy the last week, i can't believe its almost over! first let me start by saying that i've been absent due to me getting a new job! yay! and after one more week of training i'll be working from home--double YAY! training is going really well, and its been nice to get out of the house and spend some time around adults =) and the girls have gotten their very first taste of daycare, and they are doing good too. i think i had the hardest time on monday when i got back in my car after dropping them off--its like i suddenly realized that this was the first time that they'd be spending their day with someone that wasn't me, or even part of our family. so weird. but i pressed on =)

in scrappy news..i've been working on this ATC swap thing. at least i think thats what its called its over at SIStv , and well i've got about 10 of 30 done lol. i need to get to work on those this weekend..and maybe i'll even post a peek of what i've done with them so far. havent really had any time or energy to scrap much since last week, so maybe i can get some of that squeezed in too since there are so many challenges and online crops going on bc of CHA. can't wait for all the new goodies to come out.

so, i've been so busy with adjusting to me working again, and then our refridgerator broke :( so i've been out and about most evenings trying to find a new one. anyways, the good news is, my new fridge is being delivered tomorrow afternoon and then we can have ice cream again lol.

xoxo

its been a while since I updated! geesh. I don't think I even realized how long it'd been lol. I think I got thrown off with the mid-week holiday, and then Art had a 5 day holiday after that! Can you imagine having 5 days off in a row? I thought I was going to pull my hair out at one point. Anyways, he's back to work today, and so now I'm working on getting back on schedule =)

I posted some new work over at Crop Addict using the July mid-month kit. It was totally fun and I got lots of stuff done; definitely go check it out! Besides doing those little projects, I haven't really scrapped..I hate feeling like blah! I even went and picked up the new funky vintage line by Making Memories..and its cute and all, just not really inspiring me to bust anything out.

Anyways, I was tagged by Jocelynne like ages ago..so I'm gonna do that now =) My 7 randoms::

1. I usually count down my birthday..like starting in March. some ppl find that annoying, but whatev! its my birthday and it makes me happy. so 13 days and counting!
2. my girls usually take baths everyday..but not to get clean lol. they take baths to play. for hours. ahhh. i love my free time!
3. its pretty rare that i do a layout without my computer on. usually thats because i'm listening to itunes and chatting with kelly.
4. speaking of kelly..she and i talk almost everyday. we've never met in person, but we've been talking for over a year and half online =)
5. I never watch tv during the day. even tho its usually on for the girls. they like pbs kids. but when it comes to night time, i'm on it like blue bonnet.
6. we dont have cable, sad i know. so to get my reality tv fix, i usually watch mtv or vh1 online.
7. since we dont have cable, you can imagine the amount of infomercials i watch on the weekend. so last week i saw the one for the "Weight Loss Cure" by Kevin Trudeau. He had me sold. Seriously. And then, I went to Amazon to check it out, and read the reviews. yeah. I'm glad I read those. I dont like ppl who lie..but i know that a lot of ppl do to sell their product.

so anyways..those are my randoms. and if you're reading this...consider yourself tagged =)

xoxo

you really do learn something new everyday..

so last week art and i rented apocalypto, that movie by mel gibson about the mayan culture, sort of. anyways, i didnt really have any interest in seeing it, but i owed art a guy flick, so we watched. anways, in the middle of watching the movie (which btw, is all subtitles. art hated that) i realized something, and made art pause the movie. there was a scene where they were showing a mayan temple, like the one above, with stuff like falling down it. i had no idea what it was. i mean, i always knew that the temples were for some religous matter, duh. but i had no idea that it was for human sacrifice! seriously felt stupid when i asked art if thats what they really were for. i mean, why didnt i learn that in history? anyways, yeah. it was a graphic movie. but i learned something. i have to say tho, that it wasnt nearly as graphic as pan's labryinth. which i only got to see parts of bc my mom called. but thats ok bc art caught me up once i was done.

so today. yeah. i kinda slept through most of it. last night i was complaining to art that i've not been sleeping well and then i remembered that i bought some otc sleeping pills. they usually never worked but i figured i'd give it a try. so i took 2 and decided to play a game online while it kicked in. and man, did it ever kick in. i slept until like after 11. good thing the kids can feed themselves lol. and today art was off..so it was just the beginning of a really lazy day. and i'm sure tomorrow will be similar since he will be home again. i hate that he is home during the week, it throws me off. now dont get me wrong, its nice that hes here, but it really messes with the flow of things around the house.

you know something weird i just realized? that both those movies we watched had subtitles. funny, bc art hates having to read bc he says they go too fast for him. but i love it. for some reason i seem to be able to get more into the movie if i have to read. in fact, when i watch tv i like to have the captions on, altho i usually dont if art is around =)

well i'm hoping to get scrappy tomorrow. i've been avoiding my messy desk the last 2 days. i have kits piling up. thats not a good sign.
xoxo.

yay.

i finally scrapped! geesh. and i'm blogging. i hope thunder doesnt strike me down ;)
hey guess what? i'm in the catwalk at sistv!! sweet! i probably wouldnt have found out so soon if it werent for anilu.
i was busy outside gardening. or my version of gardening anyways. i have a mini rake, a mini shovel. 2 bags of potting soil and some flowers that needed to be moved. did it happen? not so much. but that could be bc i was out gardening at 10 at night. it was too hot to do it yesterday during the day!
well that and the fact that i was out and about on a mad search for tinkerbell party goods. olivia's 6th bday party is sunday, and her chosen theme is tinkerbell. which would've been fine if i could find a bakery who made tink cakes! i had to go to like 5 different stores. and then dont get me started on the pinata. but the moral of the story is that we now have everything we need for one perfect party. yay.

so today, not doing much besides laundry. its another hot day here and the kids dont want to venture outside. wimps! hehe. just kidding. i wouldnt want to play out there either. :P
happy thursday =)

lots o stuff

we had a nice and quiet fathers day at our house..slept in a little, then gave art breakfast in bed accompanied by a myriad of cards that the girls made for him. i think it was the perfect morning for him--watching a martial arts movie and just chillaxing. i made that huge tag for him ^^ from the june poppy kit. its so luscious. yum.

saturday art took the girls to a softball game while i went to get my hair cut and colored =) it was looooong overdue and i really love my new look.

i know this isnt the best pic to see my hair and color..but i couldnt resist playing with some new actions that i got on friday lol. anyways, its an A line with side bangs...and the color is like a soft blackish brown. i love it! kinda hard to get used to having bangs! i keep wanting to put them behind my ear, its gonna take some time before i get used to just leaving them be.

anyways, got some other scrappy stuff done on friday, all using the june poppy kit..while my scrapologie is sitting here begging to be played with too! i just can't seem to find enough time. not to mention that i've been scrapping for 2 months with no mojo at all. i hate forcing it..but sometimes i just gotta try to push it through it, kwim? and on that note, i've been thinking about starting another art journal. i saw this one at the RV blog and its just TDF, but i think i'm a little over budget this month on the kit buying grrr. so, i think i might just make my own and try to find some cute fabrics and schtuff locally. i'm hoping that by doing this it'll make me feel creative again..bc i havent felt that way in a while. sigh.

oh, and the actions that i found to play with..which yeah. i need a tutorial in PSE. seriously. i have no idea what i'm doing. i mean, i can get the actions onto my pics--no problem there. its the playing with the opacity (whatever the heck that is! lol) and sharpening etc to get it to look how i want it to. does that make sense? i mean, i'm sure i could figure it out if i could figure out where the hell i find 'opacity'! me thinks i might have to take a trip to the library to learn how to use this program. and i hate that. bc i'm not a patient girl. i want to play NOW. not next week. so..if someone out there can help a girl out..PLEASE! =) oh and i was gonna link to the places i got the actions, bc i had a hard time finding ones that were compatible with PSE and not just PS. jessica's blog is where i bought my first 2 sets. i got all 12 of them for 20 bucks! what a deal! then i checked out this place called optikvervelabs and its actually a free plugin that has all kinds of different conversions. thats actually what i used on that pic of me. anyways, there are a few other ones i found as well, but these are the 2 that i have actually tried so far.

well kiddies .. i'm off to do some laundry. blah.

xoxo

mi vida loca

so yesterday, i was reading on joce's blog about youtube. i said that i hardly ever use it, bc i know that if i did, i'd be addicted.

so yeah. after i read her post i hopped over there to check it out. i watched a few little clips here and there, and then i was like hm...i wonder if they have this old music video. and they did. so then that led to another and another.. well, you get the picture.



anways. what many ppl dont know about me is that i grew up in california..and i ran with a not so good crowd. gangs and that kind of retarded stuff. anyways my mom moved us here to utah to get me away from that life, and everday that i've been away i've been ever so grateful for the life she gave back to me. so anyways, yesterday i was looking up some old brown pride videos and i remembered this movie that came out in the early 90's, called 'mi vida loca'. and i looked it up on youtube and they had the ENTIRE movie on there. i was surprised to say the least, and so i watched it. anyways..whenever i tell ppl about my past, they can't imagine me living that way, or dressing how i described--and well, this movie summed up what it was like where i grew up. heres the first ten minutes.

summer boredom already??

its that time of year again. carolyn sitting at my house being bored. i mean, not that we dont have great convo, bc we do. but then i think 'hmm..time to pull out the cam!' and yeah. she hates that. mostly bc i take a bunch of random pics of her and wont let her take any of me. bwaahahah. i'm just evil that way. and i dont feel comfortable in front of the camera--actually thats an understatement. i HATE being in front of it lol. i need to lose like 1 million gagillion pounds, and then i think i will feel better about it.

anyways, the girls are outside enjoying the mild weather, its like 78ish right now. but tomorrow should be closer to 90. yep. time to fill up the pool again. i'm sitting here bored out of mind. and not bc i dont have things to do, bc i certainly always have laundry. blah!

so heres my list of movies that i could watch over and over and over..

• return to me--love love the music in this one. such a sweet and funny love story
• coyote ugly--i love the music in this one too
• when harry met sally--hello, classic!
• pretty in pink--bc i was an 80's child and molly ringwald rocks my world.
• the holiday--this one is kinda newer. but i've rented it like 3 times already bc i love it so mucho. and yeah, jude law doesnt hurt either.
• pretty in pink--julia roberts+richard gere+shopping=perfection!
• the goonies--fave kid movie ever possibly. and my kids dig it too

and now..i might go unpack my scrap stuff from the crop i went to on friday. i'm thinking 4 days of it sitting in my totes by my desk might be long enough; but my area looks really clean, and i really dig that lol.

xoxo

the farmers market.

love this time of year. lots of little things to go do on the weekend.today i met up with some mommies to check out the farmers market that just opened this weekend. it was a perfect morning =)

here are some of pics of what we saw::

i think we could've had a better time if::

• the girls werent afraid of clowns on stilts
• olivias tummy wasnt upset
• i had brought a bag to carry all of our stuff

but at least now i know. oh yeah. and make sure that the girls pee before we leave the house. oh how i hate public restrooms. and the worst part about that is that this park, when not hosting the farmers market, is very well known for being the local transient/drug dealing/have no home area. yeah. but when the market is there its nice. is it funny that i have no pics of actual food?? i wanted to take some pics of some lovely arugala, but i kinda felt weird. plus it was super ass crowded. oh, and my hands were freaking full. duh monica. next time take a bag!!

ooh and i had a delish little coconut cupcake. like a mini size cupcake with like a foot of frosting. maybe it wasnt a foot, but it sure did taste like it. it was soo good. and i also got a chocolate mocha one for later; check this puppy out:

doesnt she look delish? yep. i'm saving her for my middle of the afternoon, mommy needs a moment all to herself, please leave me alone for 2 seconds to think 'time'. lol.

xoxo

happy june!!

did may fly by or was it just me?? seriously. i think i could settle for a slow down. olivia's bday is only 22 days away...wow. she's gonna be six.

and that little monkey up there is getting registered for pre-k tomorrow! yikes! shes so excited to meet her teacher and to see her classroom for the first time. honestly, i'm excited too. but kinda sad. you know, shes my baby. and i'm gonna bawl like a baby when i take her on the first day and leave her. shes like my shadow, that one. aah. but, on the bright side--i will be getting a couple of hours all to myself! yay! love that.

soo..yeah. nothing new with me. just getting scrappy here and there. my mojo is slowly coming back. i think it helped me to scrap some emotional pages about my mom. i mean..hello i cried all over them. but, it felt good too. oh, and i tried the 6x12 and i dig it. A LOT. now my only dilemma is that i dont have page protectors for that size. so yeah. i'm gonna have to find somewhere that carries them lol. oh well. they will just be sitting pretty on my easel. love it. i think thats about it for me today!!

xoxo